Guest Contributor
Romal Tune
Author of, Love is an Inside Job
Instagram: @RomalTune
Throughout my life, there have been things that I’ve wanted to change about me. My goal is to become the best version of myself. I believe this is something most people desire. The problem is that sometimes we beat ourselves up and even worse judge ourselves when we miss the mark because our thoughts or behaviors are not in alignment with who we truly desire to be in the world. Through therapy, I learned how to stop judging myself and engage in an intentional process of change that aligns my behavior with the person I desire to become and to do so without guilt or self-shaming when I make mistakes. Here’s the process below. You may find it helpful on your journey of becoming the best version of you in your lifetime.
5 Steps to Overcoming Life-Limiting Behaviors
1. BE AWARE
Observe your behavior while in the act of doing what you don’t want to do, without judging yourself.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE
Call your behavior what it is, rather than ignoring it. The difference between awareness and acknowledgment: Awareness is like being in the grocery store and seeing someone you know. If you avoid talking to them because you don’t want to be bothered, you are aware of that person, but you chose not to acknowledge them. Acknowledgment is going over and speaking to the person. Accept the reality of your behavior and what you are doing and name it.
3. AFFIRM
Offer yourself grace. You are not your behavior. You are not the emotions attached to your actions. You are a child of the Divine. God made you. He loves you unconditionally! Brutal honesty must be connected to relentless grace. There is no healing without grace. Beauty is at the core of forgiving and healing. Be kind to yourself.
4. CULTIVATE GRATITUDE
Be grateful. The mere fact that you want to be better and desire vulnerability is progress.
5. ADAPT
After accepting who you are—God’s creation—and what you are doing, identify ways you will adjust your behavior. Plan ways you will respond differently the next time you find yourself in a situation where you can be vulnerable instead of behaving the way you have in the past.
Acceptance is a continuous process. You inevitably make mistakes, but stay in the process of choosing change over life-limiting behaviors. Over time, it will not be as difficult, but the process will never end.
Guest Contributor
Mr. Romal Tune uses purpose and passion to equip people to heal the wounds of their past. He bravely offers up his own journey as a case study of raw transparency and refreshing honesty. As a full-time speaker and author, Romal guides audiences through the process of identifying and embracing their unique destiny. Committed to living the six-word mission statement that defines his life— “I help hurting people find healing”—Romal’s platform and cross-sector relationships have positioned him as a global leader who guides individuals, organizations and institutions to recover from setbacks and achieve success by honoring the particularity of their unique stories. With an infectious style that has impressed thousands both nationally and international audiences, Romal moves people to action! Through compassion, and systemic change, he creates and environment that impacts the effectiveness of individuals, leaders, executives, and their teams.
